After writing ‘living with Adam’ ( November 2015) few of my friends (surprisingly only eves) wanted to read about the other side of the coin, ‘living with Eve’. This summer heat must have driven me crazy enough for daring to write about Adam’s point of view after this long hiatus . Yes, it is dare indeed to tread into unknown territory.Though my Eve- mind refuses to acknowledge any other point of view; nonetheless I am going to don the man’s hat, wear his cape,and try to fit into his extra large boots and give Adam an Even chance.

After the moment of “I do” at the alter Eve changes her promise to”I don’t” for reasons unexplained. This keeps baffling Adam for the rest of his life ! His sweet understanding girlfriend turned wife, becomes a person he cannot recognize . I don’t like this, I don’t eat this, I don’t have the mood for this,I don’t want to go, I don’t cook,I don’t watch football, and many such “I don’t ” becomes her regular chant. Adam keeps pulling his own hair in a desperate attempt to understand ,till his head is left with very little hair to pull. The journey from ‘ I do’ to ‘ I don’t ‘ maybe unexplained but male balding pattern has just found an explainable theory.
Adam has heard all stories of mothers changing into mother- in- laws after a sons’ marriage. But he believes that his mother is different .What he does not realize is that no one is different. All are equal in the eyes of law and the law affects each one of us indiscriminately. Soon after the honeymoon period his honey becomes daughter in law and his mother upgrades her status to mother in law. Mr. Pivotal Adam becomes the only judge in this lawsuit and an unique judge at that, who can only hear the case but is not in capacity to pass a judgement. He learns to accept that all cases in this family court of law will be kept pending forever. New dates will keep coming up again and again till Adam the judge loses the count of hearing dates and his own hearing ability.

The transition from two wheels to four wheels makes Adam more domesticated. Gone are the days of zipping speed, winding roads and bike races. Yet this domesticated Adam gets dizzy driving around town with Eve. Adam has a mental route map of every city, town and suburb of the place where he lives and does not live ! Whereas Eve thinks every man standing idle on the road is a local google map, she rolls down the window and with that special sweet voice will ask for directions. Of course that weird looking man on the street gives wrong directions, but that does not deter Eve, after going round and round the same loop three times she rolls down the window sighting another google man ! Only if she would talk to Adam with that melting moment voice and trust his sense of directions he would not have felt so lost. But getting lost in the garden of Eden with Eve by his side can be a life long adventure. And Adam is ready to shift gears if that is what the wheels of life demands.

The ‘other men’ know better syndrome of Eve follows Adam inside the house too. A leaking flush tank or faucet, a blinking tube light, or the wobbly leg of the study table, Eve is quick to call the plumber, electrician or carpenter. They are always on her favorite call list .She fails to accept that Adam has a high end tool box, all shiny and new waiting to serve this very practical purpose. The electrician cum plumber fellow is treated like a scientist or an engineer in his own house while Adam gets the royal ignore. He wants to plead with dear Eve to accept him as her very own one man army. But in those dreamy eyes of Eve her Adam is nothing more than her ‘chocolate cream soldier ‘!

Eve is Adam’s ‘mistress of spices’. If not for her he would have never know the aroma of desi ghee, the spelling of asafoetida , or that saffron costs more than silver. But all this knowledge comes with a price tag from his ever so hot Eve. Eve loves to experiment in her kitchen when she has the mood and time. The report card from Adam has to read a perfect A+ even with a protesting tummy. There is another cardinal rule of the kitchen, never to praise another woman’s cooking more than the wife’s. Adam often ends up sleeping on the couch after breaking this cardinal rule. Days when Adam wants to eat out Eve thinks he does not appreciate her cooking and if he does not want to go out then he is blamed for not being romantic anymore. The fine balance between dining- in and dining- out often tilts the balance off to no- dining ! But what is life without a few sneezes in the tempering of marriage.

Adam thinks that Eve should make a personalized celebration calendar and put it on the wall for all to see. Then life would get so much easier for Adam. If Eve could have her way she would start celebrating all ‘first days’ of their life. The first date, the first kiss, the first fight, the first cake, the first house, the first dance,the first holiday. In short it is an endless list with new additions updating automatically. Adam has no choice in stopping these updates, he huffs and puffs to keep up with Eve in this memory game race of ‘first day’ list. Adam wants to tell Eve that day by day she has started resembling his history teacher in school and he wants to bunk all her test days. This routinely forgetting of Adam and then being reminded by Eve, ends with another new milestone of something first.

Crazy Adam misplaces important things, crazy Adam forgets dates, crazy Adam leaves wardrobe upside down, crazy Adam can only boil water to save his life, yet Eve must be crazier than him to love him all so unconditionally. To accept each other as you are is the first rule of the game. The Adam brigade could agree or disagree with this feeble attempt of an Eve to read their mind with her ‘sense and sensibility’. But as long as ‘pride and prejudice’ does not creep into ‘love and friendship’ the Adam and Eve story will not need any other ‘ persuasion ‘ to make life a beautiful journey. With that I take off Adam’s oversized boots, and get ready to run with my Eve friends down ‘Mansfield Park’. 🙂